Pseudo Sister was here last week, to my vast relief – ah, at last, someone to supervise!  A few minutes after she exited Hotel Subaru, presented me with a beautiful hostess gift of wine and glasses (as she said, she’s broken a few of ’em in her stays at Hillhouse), and bleached down the entire kitchen, she asked what else she could do.  Pseudo Sister is like that.  Which is why she is pseudo – clearly, she’s no relation of mine.  At least as far as the bleach is concerned.

But seriously – Pseudo Sister is many things, but always and endlessly helpful.  She even directed my weddin’.  And by that I don’t mean that she showed up for the rehearsal and arranged the bridesmaids in order, from shortest to tallest.  Pseudo Sister arrived on July 1 and spent the next 25 days schlepping, scrubbing, and sorting, from dawn till cocktail hour, practically without break.  She assisted in the sanding and assembly of The Wedding Arbor, beautifully and lovingly masterminded by Brother Dear.  She spent many hours procuring rocks and then painting them with designations such as “Sweet Tea Vodka Lemonade,” “Salted Virginia Pecans,” and “Lemon Chardonnay Cake.”  She salvaged scraps of barn wood and adorned them with directions like, “Weddin’ This Way, “Parkin’,” and “Weddin’ Party ONLY.”  She embraced my disdain of the letter “g” with abandon.

So when Pseudo Sister asked how she could assist me last week, I knew she would be up to any task.  And we proceeded with Glacier County Honey’s first batch of lip balms, something I have been dying to work on since Honeydew first gave me the ingredients with which to do so, for Christmas:

Organic sweet almond oil.  Pure shea butter.  Essential oils from Sage & Cedar, my go-to shop for all things pure and natural in Whitefish, Montana.

And of course, Glacier County Honey beeswax, to which we add nothing and only take away through triple filtration.  No bleaching, unlike too much “other” beeswax.  I am not 100% natural in everything that I do, but with this line of lip balms I’m developing, I want nuthin’ but natural.  After all, they are your lips.  If you’re gonna go au naturel anywhere, surely it ought to be on your lips.

We tested lemon, one of my favorites.  Summery and tangy and fresh.

Coconut, which had just the right beachiness about it, without the drenched-in-baby-oil-mercurochrome-and-Danielle-Steel vibe.

Pinon pine, which could be construed as manly or delightfully December-y.

My personal favorite, fig, the taste of my childhood and Grandma Betty’s magical yard.

Almond, which I am leaning towards as our signature scent, both because the scent and flavor came across most delightfully of all those we tested, and because Glacier County Honey is intrinsically tied to California almond pollination.  Speaking of signature, name that movie: “Mama, my colors are blush and bashful!”  “Your colors are pink, and pink.”

Peppermint, because nothing is peppier!  And because I love the way beeswax, which smells like warm, thick, honey, blends with the sharper tang of peppermint.

And finally, tangerine, which we agreed tasted like dried Tang floating in orbit above Earth.  Yecch.

What would you like to see as our flavors?  Pseudo Sister is due back (for good!) in July, and I need to have a to-do list for her.

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